Friday, January 30, 2009

25 Things

Currently on the MyFace, there's this note/bulletin thing running around where you're supposed to post 16 (now its up to 25 and that's just absurd) random factoids about yourself. Well, here's mine to share with all of you:

1. I am finally learning German and while its difficult, I love it!

2. I heart beer, and am a complete beer snob.

3. I party in Europe, and refuse to do so state side. In Europe they dance like its 1985, and you can't beat that.

4. Yes, I'm spoiled and like Euro things better - because they are! Except the men...

5. Men from California/the west are my weakness. The more times you can work the word "dude" into a sentence, the slower and clearer your English is, the more laid back you are, the better! And it gets me into trouble every time...

6. My job is more of a lifestyle, and it suits me well.

7. My goal in life is to be the First Lady.

8. My favorite band is still The Get Up Kids. Some things never change.

9. I have a cat named Rowdy, and that's the best adjective to describe her.

10. The best vacation I ever went on was Greece with Maureen. I make you lamb!

11. Buzz... your girlfriend... woof!

12. Someday, I'd like to be a Dr and teach college kiddies about places, cities, food policy, suburbs, and all those other geographic things.

13. I really like school... how blasphemous is that???

14. My favorite place to be in the world is on the plane. I've fallen in (and out) of love on one, I work on them, and they always take me to where I want to be.

15. Home is a feeling, and the only geographic location to ever inspire that in me is my Grandmother's house.

16. The best I have ever felt, the most amazing day I've ever had, was a sunny weekday in April 2006(Thursday maybe?) when I handed in my finished senior thesis. It was so gratifying and fulfilling, and to this day, it is one of my defining accomplishments.

17. Though I do love beer, my drink of choice is Jack and ginger; I've learned to have a drink like a lady and not the whole bottle like a whore.

18. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'd like to extend a big thank you to the super sluts who put out on the first date, are non-discriminatory serial daters, and have single-handedly destroyed any modicum of decency, morality, romance, and chivalry that used to be known as courting... way to lower those standards!

19. My favorite color is green. You're so totally surprised, you can't even deal. I know.

20. I love strange B class movies like Mystery Men, Mystery Alaska, Heartbreakers, Just Friends. Those movies that maybe you once saw a commercial for, or they play it at ten in the morning when no one's really watching tv anyway.

21. I must love you a lot if we chat via text. If you have something important to say (for example, I'd like to see you, or I would not like to see you) then you really should call. Moreover, texting does not allow for proper punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, or my sub par attempts at humor.

22. I firmly believe that the Boeing 757 is the worst smelling of all the aircrafts. Trust me.

23. New Jersey shore.

24. OMG I AM 24. I have an entire lifetime still ahead of me and I'm not in a rush anymore.

25. My sister is effing awesome. She's way cooler than anyone else I know and I love her dearly.

Friday, January 23, 2009

auf Wiedersehen you Ass!

As we all know, I'm a hopeless romantic and far more hopeless than anything else. I'm a sucker for a good story, especially my own. I recently invested in the book "Why Men Love Bitches" and I'm the girl that the author explicitly tells you NOT to be. I suppose it's just one of those character flaws that I'm working on, along with keeping the top of my dresser tidy. So here's the latest, and how I have finally prevailed... sort of.

I had been talking to some guy for a few months. He would do the normal boy thing and arrange to see me and then break our plans in such a lovely way that would keep me hanging on. To get to the point swiftly, he called the night prior to make plans to hang out for the weekend - which involved me flying there and a trip to the zoo! (We all know how I feel about the zoo! Actung! Elefanten!). I called my flight attendant bff to gush and plan the wardrobe. About an hour later, I get a text, no less, explaining that he had to rain check our plans because he was going to Vegas with the boys instead. I was floored. I mean, at least grow a pair and call me! This was followed up with a series of I owe you a visit, text me to let me know you got this, so sorry, etc. I ignored them and changed my MyFace status to "going to the zoo!".

In the morning, I set my alarm for departure time to send a text stating that "I just barely made it on the plane and got the last seat! See you at said time, said gate, and flight number!" all while never leaving the comforts of my own bed! I proceeded to turn off my phone to simulate the plane ride. The level of excitement to turn my phone back on was almost too much; and it was far more gratifying than I ever could have expected. Homeslice blew that shit up with something along the lines of... "did u not get my texts??? how could you not check your text messages??? god how many more times could i have told you not to come! i'm so pissed... fuck. this is a shitshow now" and two hours later, followed up with an "sorry for this morning i was just frustrated... trying to work it out". I laughed for over an hour, reveling in the fact that I indeed made him squirm all day.

And here's the part that makes me, well me, and a door mat. My conscience, complete with that utterly annoying Catholic guilt, got the best of me. A bit after arrival time I admitted to having never left the state. But why? Why should I remotely feel any guilt? I shouldn't! The only conclusion that I can draw is that I can't believe I did it. This is not how I roll, and it is not how I like to be treated. The best (the worst?) part is I weaseled my way out of owning up the fact that I'm done. I didn't say the words please leave me alone, lose my number, I'm just not that into you, oh no its definitely you and not me. Perhaps I had owned up to what I was really thinking this time, and so many others, I'd feel better about it. But that would require confrontation, which to me is a fate worse than death! Arg! Damn those little nuns and years of learning what it means to sin and treating people how you'd like to be treated. Blast and dammit!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

48 Hour Delay

Last Friday, I left for a three day Birmingham; I was due to return Sunday at noon. I had a great crew, a great layover in this cozy little English town upon Avon, awesome dinner at an Indian restaurant complete with a Leffe. Get to the airport Sunday morning where we were greeted with "good morning, you're delayed and its not looking good." The ground staff got us rooms at the airport hotel straight away and we were released from duty until 7 pm. They bused our passengers to Heathrow, and had parts brought in from both Heathrow and Newark. When we got our update at 7 pm of day three, they had fixed what they thought to be the problem but there was still a leak and it had to be corrected by 11 in order to run the engine tests due to the noise curfew. Operations had no idea that there even was a noise curfew at this airport. We had dinner at the airport as a crew which was lovely. (Ricky! Oh that's lovely!). It had been decided by the powers that be that we should be ready to report for duty at 7:30ish the morning of day 4. Word came that they had fixed the initial issues in the engine; however, when they were taking the plane out to run the engine tests, air traffic control told them to turn around and when they did, exceeded the range of the plane, and therefore broke the nose gear. Our rooms were held for the rest of the day, we had breakfast in the terminal, lunch in the bar, and dinner at the buffet and went no where. Finally, on day five at 5:40 in the morning we met downstairs in the lobby, went back to the terminal, and were driven across the taxi ways to our aircraft which we boarded at 6:30, sans passengers! Though it totally sucked to be stuck at the airport hotel in Birmingham for 48 hours, it was so amazing to ferry the plane across the Atlantic. We finally landed back in Newark at 10:15 or so, and I made it just in time to go to my German class at 1:20 in South Jersey. Surprisingly enough, last night was the first night I slept all the way through and I don't want to go to work for the rest of the month!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The One AM Radio

As we all know, I love songs about airplanes, traveling, leaving, etc. I found this song on my Pandora and almost fell over! Here's The Echoing Airports by The One AM Radio:


I go to airports
and wait by the gate for arriving flights.
I go to airports
to watch the lovers reunite.
I go to airports.
In every city they're the same.
The lonely airports,
echoing with all the shouted names
of loves who've been caught sight of,
returned from miles away,
from tiny lights
receding into the night
at the end of the runway.
I go to airports.
they blur together nowadays:
one single airport,
a winding, interminable maze.

I go to airports
to be near strangers' hopes and aches.
I go to airports
to remember all of the mistakes
we made, the plans we laid,
and how they went astray.'
til you were lights,
receding into the night
at the end of the runway.
Fluorescent lights hum overhead.
"Sometime soon, we'll meet again."
you'd said.
The dull air in the waiting halls these nights -
it's almost the same as then,
but in the end, not quite.

I go to airports
and wait by the gate for arriving flights.
I go to airports
to watch the lovers reunite.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Congratulations! You're NOT DEAD!

Dear Melissa Craft and Emily Pellegrini, of Texas,

I would like to be the first to congratulate you on your survival from the wreckage of Continental flight 1404 - you have made it out alive. Did you know that you're more likely to be elected President of the United States than die in an aviation accident? Move over Obama!

In regards to your law suit, I believe it to be frivolous. Each and every time you step onto an aircraft, you have paid and signed your life away and leave the fate in God's hands. Sure, more often than not you make it there, maybe a slight delay, or even early as Continental is known to be an on-time airline. There are no guarantees in this world, and your safety in the air, though most certainly a priority at any airline, is not a sure thing. This is something I'm reminded of each time I sit down on my jump seat. Release seat belts! Get out! I have over 240 hours of training and as you have seen first hand, it comes in handy. I understand the emotional trauma that is associated with such an event, but this isn't the trauma of your parents having to bury you. You're alive. Where are the thank yous? Arguably yes, I was not there and do not understand what it was like or the scars that aviation has burned into your soul. But I do know that you are still here, alive and well with many years ahead of you. You could have been in a skiing accident, car crash, unfortunate kitchen incident. In this life, there are situations that will be out of your hands and this happens to be one of them. I do not appreciate your careless accusations when the National Transportation Security Board is still hard at work investigating your particular flight. What if this incident has been a work of terrorism? Sue the terrorists?

If I were you, I would get myself a good therapist, meet me a pilot, and learn everything I could about their job and say a big prayer of thanks to God that I'm alive and count my blessings. Everyday.

Karma biddies. Karma.

Sincerely,
Alyssa
flight attendant

Monday, January 12, 2009

Welcome 2009!

I just applied to be on The Bachelorette. I must be crazy. I will keep you posted on how this goes down.

As far as an update, same old. LHR like whoa. I'd kill for a DUB about now, and there are a whopping four trips in open time when I come back from days off. Awesome. I've decided to start taking German classes at county. This ought to be interesting.